To be determined
by fantasizeurlife0418
Summary: Jenna has her amazing boyfriend Christopher at home but she cannot stop thinking about Anything at work who she recently began having an affair with. She struggles between the two as great love and great lust leave her unable to decide between one or the other and unable to live with herself and her actions.


He threw me up against the desk with one hand on my lower back and the other pulling my long brown hair throwing his lips at mine. I admit there had been tension between us since the first time I caught him watching me but I was a professional and I was in a relationship, how could this be happening. I shut off my thoughts and let my body conform to his demands. As his hands reached up my shirt and unlatched my bra I gave into my desires and pulled his shirt off. Our chests came together and I felt his hands on my breasts as he kissed down my clavicle across the length of the bone and up my neck tracing back to my lips. As our lips met again I felt my body relax as if choosing to allow him to do as he wished with me. He wrapped his arms around my waist and scooped my body in one effortless motion up onto the desk. Papers flew to the ground around us as he unbuttoned my pants and slowly slid them down my legs. His eyes scanned my body up and down with a look of pure admiration I will never forget. I had never felt that way before; no man had ever looked at me that way before. All thoughts erased from my mind leaving only the desire for him. His lips, his arms, his hands, all of him and I wanted him so bad. For a moment he paused seeming to sense my hesitation. The good girl inside of me trying to fight the bad girl that had overcome me in that office. We locked gazes and his eyes seemed to be asking me "are you sure you want to do this?" I shook my head yes and felt him slide into me. The initial pleasure sent my body into overdrive. At that point I felt like I could do anything. I locked my arms around him as he thrust against me. Before I even knew what was happening he picked my body up off the desk and threw me against the wall sliding back inside me giving my body a taste of something I'd never felt before. The mix of passion and aggression made the experience 100 times more intense than I had ever known. We climaxed together and he held me there against the wall locking my lips with his in intense passion and satisfaction. He placed me back down onto the desk and began to dress himself. I sat and watched for a moment, processing what had just happened between us. My entire body was shaking as I reached for my clothes and began to redress. We did not speak a word, just gazed at each other before he turned to walk out of the office. I was still half dressed and overcome with satisfaction, I had to get it together and go back out to the store. I pulled on my clothes, brushed my fingers through my hair, picked up the papers off the floor and went back inside.

This was the moment when my thoughts started flowing back and I began to freak out. I had six more hours to my shift and no idea how I was going to contain myself. I had been employed at the store for 4 years. I had always worked with mostly men and they had come and gone by the dozens but none of them had ever gotten to me the way Anthony did. How could I have let it get so out of control? It was like he had read my mind. All those times I'd imagined him taking me out back to the office. If it hadn't been for the fact that my body was still shaking I might have been able to convince myself it had not really happened. No, it was just one of my ridiculous fantasies, but it happened all right and now what was I going to do?

I sat at my computer trying my best to get my work done as the hustle and bustle of the store went on around me. I stared at the orders I needed to process and tried so hard to remember what I had to do but it was like my brain had turned to mush and all I could do was replay my encounter with Anthony over and over in my head wondering if he was doing the same. I searched for him in the store and there he was, working as normal as ever talking to customers and joking with the other employees. Did I look that normal right now? I didn't think I could possibly look that normal, in-fact I had no idea what I looked like, I did not even bother to stop and look at myself in the mirror as I came back in the store. I probably looked like I just rolled out of bed. How could I have been so stupid as to not even look at myself, were my clothes even on right? I looked down and it appeared as though I had managed to properly dress myself and I ran my fingers through my hair again hoping that might do the trick. I looked around and no one seemed to notice me at all. I took a deep breath and looked back at the computer screen.

"Jenna, could you come here please"?

I jumped out of my chair at the sound of my name and felt as though I had left my composure sitting in the chair as I ran over to Carrie who had called my name.

"Could you do an exchange for me please?" Said Carrie as I approached her register.

"Of course I can, was there something wrong?" I replied looking up at the customer.

"No, I just grabbed the wrong one." The customer replied and I smiled and processed the transaction.

As I walked back to my computer I emptied out my lungs in one giant breath and nearly began to cry as I thought to myself; "what the hell did I get myself into?" The day went on and you know how they always say; "relax it will be okay" well I tried to keep telling myself that, but I honestly think that is a load of crap. How was it going to be okay? How was I going to go home to Christopher and act like my day was normal as ever? How was I going to sleep next to him knowing how much he loved and adored me and how horrible what I had done to him truly was? Should I just tell him the truth? Tell him it was a big mistake and I do not know what had taken over me, that it was like I had no control over myself and it meant nothing and would never happen again? It was never going to happen again. I could not be that stupid a second time, could I? I searched for Anthony again and this time he looked back and winked at me. My heart jumped out of my chest and I threw my eyes back to my computer screen. Oh god I wish I knew what he was thinking right now.

Slowly the night came to an end and as we locked up the store and left Anthony followed me out to my car.

"That was amazing." He whispered in my ear moving my hair back so he could kiss the ear he whispered into.

"That can never happen again, you know I have Christopher to go home to." I replied back in such a cold voice I was not even sure it came out of my body. I looked up into his eyes and he looked so hurt I wanted to embrace him but I could not risk anyone seeing us so close. He turned silently and walked to his car. I watched for a moment and turned to open my door.

"I do care about you." He said in the distance, but I could not respond. I watched as he continued to his car fighting with my desire to go to him and my will to get in my car and drive home to Christopher.

As I walked up the driveway to our home Christopher and I had shared together for the past 5 years I wondered what I was going to say. I could imagine him reading the guilt on my face the moment I walked in and breaking down telling him the truth about everything. I walked in to the amazing smell of homemade marinara sauce (my Mother had taught Chris to make it just like she did; I might even go so far as to say he made it better). There was a candle lit display of my favorite Italian spread on the table and I nearly broke down and cried as he came over to kiss me hello and take my jacket. Here I had this amazing man at home who loved me more than anything and surprised me with dinner after a late shift but that wasn't good enough for me was it? It wasn't that I did not love Christopher, I did, I loved him very much. It was just that sometimes our relationship just plain bored me. We seemed to do the same thing every day have the same sex every time, nothing ever seemed to change. I sat at the table and Christopher made me a plate before making his own and sitting down across from me.

"How was your day sweetheart"? He asked me as I took my first bite.

"Oh same as usual, busy but fine" I lied and my body winced with guilt.

"I have some good news I've been wanting to tell you all day but I wanted to wait to tell you in person" I stopped eating and looked up at his gleaming smile; he had yet to even taken a bite of his meal. "I have been offered a promotion to shift supervisor on the night shift for now. I know it will be hard to be on opposite schedules but if I do a good job I hope to be able to take over the day shift eventually and it is good money."

We had been hoping for this for so long as we struggled to save enough money for a down payment on a house of our own and yet I found myself sitting there starring back at his hopeful eyes and not a word came to me.

"I have not told them anything yet; I wanted to talk to you first. If you think it will be too much for us I will turn it down and wait for something else to come up." He seemed to be scrambling now. I knew he wanted so badly to make me happy, little did he know it was not the shift change that was troubling me."

"That is amazing Chris I'm so proud of you." I finally choked out trying my best not to make eye contact.

"Oh thank you Jenna, for a moment I thought you were really upset, I promise I will work so hard and before you know it we will be back on the same schedule." I smiled and continued to eat my meal.

When we finished I started to clean up and Christopher stopped me.

"You look tired, I'll clean up, you go relax."

As terrible as I felt I needed to relax so I took his offer and filled a bath for myself. I needed to wash away the day, wash away Anthony. I had not stopped thinking about him for more than 10 seconds all day. I sank into the bath with a brand new Stephen King and tried to forget about the day but I found it impossible to read. My thoughts seemed to be fighting with the words on the page. Finally I gave up, leaned back and closed my eyes. I had nearly fallen asleep when Christopher came into the bathroom.

"Jenna are you okay?"

"Oh yes I am fine, it was just a long day." I lied again. I don't think I had ever lied to him this much in our entire relationship. We had always been so open and honest with each other. I knew everything about him as well as he knew everything about me, until this afternoon when I did the unthinkable and betrayed him. "I'll be out in a minute" I said as I started rinsing out my hair.

"Okay baby I'll be in bed waiting for you."

I finished my beauty routine and slipped into one of my oversized T-shirts before I climbed in bed next to him. I was exhausted but knew I was in for a long night with very little sleep. Christopher rolled over to me putting his hand up my shirt and onto my breast.

"Not tonight darling, I need to get to sleep I have an early morning."

"Can't blame a guy for wanting his beautiful, amazing girlfriend." Again I winced at this comment. Christopher had always been so sweet to me, I could only imagine how he would feel, what he would do if he knew what I had done today.

"Goodnight I love you." I whispered in a sleepy voice and closed my eyes. As I lay there with his arms wrapped around me I began to relax. After all I was only human and humans make mistakes but I knew I loved Chris and I knew right here in his arms was where I belonged and I would never repeat the mistake I had made today.

I woke up early the next morning and made bacon and eggs for Chris. He was in for a long exciting day and I wanted him to start off on the right foot. I brought him breakfast in bed before I showered and got ready for work. Anthony had the day off so I would not have to worry about seeing him. I would have time to figure out what, if anything, I would say to him the next time I saw him.

During my ride to work I prioritized all I had to do that day to keep my mind off the insanity I had managed to turn my life into in just one day. As I pulled into the parking lot I slammed on the breaks and nearly stopped breathing as I stared at the blue Honda Civic parked next to my usual spot.

"Breathe Jenna." I said to myself. "Maybe he left his car here overnight." He had said he was going out with some of the guys from work and they often times met up at the store and took one car downtown. I parked my car and slowly walked through the parking lot dreading what might be waiting for me as I walked in. I walked directly to the back of the store looking around for Anthony as I made my way to the bathrooms. I did not see him and was fairly certain I was in the clear and he was not at work. I went back up front and began working diligently on the list I had made for myself on the drive in.

In the blink of an eye the morning flew by and my mind began to wonder off on thoughts of my stomach growling and what I wanted for lunch. As fate would have it I looked up at the door at the exact moment Anthony was walking in. Our eyes met and my heart began to thud so hard I was certain that everyone could see it beating through my chest like a cartoon character. Trailing behind him was a nauseatingly beautiful blonde with legs as long as my entire body. She had her hand in his back pocket and whispered something in his ear to which they both laughed as they walked past me. I stared at them together imagining I had the abilities of Cyclops from X-Men and could blast her away with my laser beam eyes. Anthony seemed not to have a care in the world as he stopped and talked to Justin for a moment and picked up his paycheck on his way out. She followed him like a lost puppy dog craving for food and attention.

"Jenna can you make a new price tag for this?" Bruce said to me as he placed the item on the counter. I snapped back into reality and without uttering a word began to do as I was asked. This seemed to satisfy Bruce enough to leave me alone without bothering to ask the question that was clearly written on his face "what is bothering you?" I had been known for my facial expressions at the store, everyone knew not to mess with me when I looked pissed and I knew Bruce could tell something was wrong, I was so thankful he did not ask. I finished the price tag and left for lunch.

As I sat in my car forgetting my hunger all I could see was her. She looked like a real live version of Barbie and I wanted nothing more than to slap Anthony in the face for bringing that bimbo into my store. Who was he to think that was okay and where did he even find her? I could imagine the events of the night before. Out at the college bars with this girl falling all over him, the tequila in her blood making it nearly impossible for her to even walk without help. I had never been so infuriated in my life. Just yesterday we shared such passion and intimacy, how could he waltz in here like this. I could not decide if I wanted to break down in tears or simply break something. I put my car in drive and pulled out of the parking lot onto the busy street full of workers on their way lunch breaks. I drove down the street to an abandoned parking lot of an old furniture store and cried. I cried for myself, I cried for Christopher, I cried because I was so confused over my own emotions I felt as though I lost all control over myself.

As I pulled myself together and drove back to the store I wondered how it was possible to love one man more than anything while at the same time feel such passion for another. It was not fair that my mind was capable of such thoughts, such confusion, such torture. I looked up into the bright blue cloudless sky and asked for help, a sign, anything.

My phone beeped and I looked down to a text from Anthony. "Can we meet tonight?" What I should have said was; "no, we can't meet tonight, we should never see each other again." If only because I could not be tempted to betray Christopher ever again. Instead I responded; "meet me at the store at close."

The rest of my afternoon went by in a haze of work. My mind wondered off to the possibilities the night might bring as I went through the motions of my job responsibilities. I called Christopher and left a voicemail that I would be working late hoping to get caught up on some paperwork. He was too busy training for his new position and had warned me of the likely possibility he might not be home until the next morning so I knew I had nothing to worry about. At 9PM I said goodnight to my fellow employees as I locked the doors behind us and we were freed for the night. Anthony was parked next to my car waiting for me and I waited for everyone else to leave the parking lot before I got in his car with him.

"How was work?" He asked.

"Seriously, you're going to ask me how work was after all that you have put me through in the last 24 hours."

"I'm sorry I just didn't know what to say. You know I did not expect what happened to happen, but I don't regret that it did."

"I do, I regret that I let it happen, I regret that I have managed to make such a mess of my life, I regret that I could possibly have ruined the best thing in my life for a man who does not even care about me, who goes out and meets random girls at bars like nothing happened between us just hours before." Even as I spoke about my regrets to Anthony I began to regret saying it as his face fell and I knew how much I hurt him with these words that I honestly did not even mean. I was just angry at him and myself and I was taking it all out on him.

For a moment we just stared at each other in silence. The tension between us was so thick it became hard to breathe. Every inch of my body wanted him. It was like he had some kind of control over me that intensified all of my senses. My fingers trembled with the urge to touch him. I could see and taste every bead of sweat across his forehead slowly drifting down to his cheekbones. I could hear the synchronization of our hearts beating together as loud as the beat of a rock drum in an amphitheater. The smell of his cologne mixed with his sweat made it impossible for me to stop myself from jumping across the car to him.

In an instant we were embraced in each other's arms locking lips and ripping off clothing. His hands grabbed at my chest as mine traced his abdominal. He jerked his seat back and I jumped on top of him throwing my shoes which smacked against the passenger window and into the seat. He put himself inside me and I screamed as I came down on top of him. He grabbed my hips guiding my body onto him. I arched my back and grabbed the ceiling of the car screaming at the sensation of his mouth on my chest.

"Oh Anthony." I moaned and he opened the car door carrying me out with him and setting me down on the hood of his car. I had never been in such a compromising position but I did not care I wanted him to do whatever he wanted with me. I wrapped my legs around him as he thrust against me on the car. I was about to climax when he ripped me off the car unto the ground and turned me around bending me over the hood. As he slid back inside me I screamed with pleasure and scratched at his hands, they were holding me so tightly around my waist I could feel the bruises starting already. It was a new experience for me, but I liked it and I wanted more. "Harder" I yelled and the sound of my voice surprised me so much I almost did not believe it was me who said it. I did not know it was even possible to have a more intense climax than the day before but somehow Anthony managed to do something to my body I had never experienced before. It was like a mix of experiencing a heart attack and a stroke while feeling the most intense pleasure possible all at the same time. In a few more thrusts he climaxed inside me and rest his body on top of mine on the hood of his car. He kissed the back of my neck and whispered; "I have never felt like this about anyone ever in my life." As we lay there I wondered if it was only the sex or if there could be more to this than the intense passion our bodies created together.

I turned my face up to his and whispered "I have to go home." He closed his eyes and found my lips with his. As we kissed I felt a tear drop from his eye unto my cheek. My heart melted and I wished more than anything I could stay in his arms and be his, unconditionally, for the rest of our lives. He slowly pulled back and whispered "go." I slowly backed away and around to my car door.

My phone began to vibrate and I looked down to see Christopher was calling I let the call go to voicemail as I climbed into the car. A text message beeped in and it was Christopher "on my way home, should I pick up some dinner?" He messaged me. I messaged back with another lie, "already ate, grab something for yourself sweetheart." I sat behind the wheel for a few minutes just catching my breath and gathering my thoughts. I watched as Anthony drove away. He did not look at me once and I wondered if it was because it was too hard for him to look back knowing I was going home to Christopher or if he had simply gotten what he wanted and that was that. Finally I put my car in drive and started my 20 minute drive home.

I made it home before Christopher and quickly got in the shower washing off the evidence of my betrayal. As I stood allowing the steaming water to come down on me; I could feel Anthony's hands on my body. I ran my hands over my chest and wished Anthony was with me. I imagined he would take my wet body against his and kiss from my neck to my chest while the water ran down over us. I could almost feel him lifting my body up against the shower wall and sliding into me. I wished with every ounce of my body he was there at that very moment doing with me as he wished.

"Jenna?" Chris called out to me.

"Yes sweetie".

"You were… moaning in there".

"I was? I… oh… I must have just been day dreaming. It was a long day I'm sorry sweetie".

"Don't be sorry I just wanted to make sure you were okay. I got a frozen skillet dinner if you want some. I'm going to go make it now".

"Thank you but I think I'm going to climb right in bed when I'm done".

"Okay, I love you, can't wait to tell you about my day".

"Love you too".


End file.
